Resurrecting Moony - a.k.a. Remus Sirius Friendship Fic - Part Two
Disclaimer: Despite Ri's wildest hopes and dreams, Ri still does not own the Harry Potter series, its settings, and its characters. Ri continues to remain in mourning over the fact that she does not own these things and is reduced to writing fanfiction in an effort to cope with this reality.

When we last saw our heroes, they had produced a folder of potential Marauder projects authored by Prongs years prior and were planning to use it to retaliate against the Weasley twins after an incident involving Remus, Tonks, and a lust potion (much to Remus's mortification).

July 25, 1995

Tweedledee and Tweedledum suspected Ronald. Moony, who had always been more devious than anyone gave him credit for, suggested they start with several small projects to cast suspicion away from them and onto more likely suspects. As a result, Ron and little Ginny had both been thoroughly interrogated by the twins on several occasions, and, in turn, pointed the finger at each other. The twins naturally believed Ginny, and Ron became Public Enemy Number One. Ron, meanwhile, continued to vehemently deny any knowledge of how unfortunate incidents kept happening to his older brothers, which only furthered the twins’ suspicions. Remus himself put in a good act in his supporting role of Disapproving Curmudgeon on several occasions, chastising Ron and the twins for their alleged prank war – “I thought the three of you were better than this.” - and chastising his partner in crime for laughing about it - “Stop that, Sirius. You’re only encouraging them.”

Sirius would never doubt Moony again. The plan was simple, brilliant, and had the added benefit of annoying Molly. When he wanted to, Remus Lupin could be an amazingly evil genius.

Unfortunately, what geniuses had in intelligence, they lacked in common sense. Such an affliction was the only reason Sirius could find for why the evil genius in question hadn’t considered protecting himself from Fred and George, an act that directly explained why he was currently standing in the middle of the library, his skin a brilliant shade of green.

Remus sighed, “I suppose,” he remarked sourly as he examined a bright green hand, “I should be glad they didn’t go for anything more devious.”

Sirius studied his friend, shaking his head and making a ‘tsk’ sound as he did so. “Moony, I thought you’d be smarter than to nap someplace where they could get to you. It’s a good thing I’m here. You’ve already forgotten the basics.” He shook his head again. Surely Remus knew better than to leave himself open for attack.

“The problem with being a stodgy old curmudgeon,” Remus explained with a straight face, “Is that you’re the perfect target for childish pranks. It was necessary to protect my cover.”

Sirius felt a smile tug at his mouth. “So you purposely left yourself open to attack?”

“The things I do for your plans,” Remus replied, pretending to be somber. “Luckily, this should be easy enough to fix.” He raised his wand.

“Wait!” Sirius grabbed his arm. Seeing a confused look from his friend – really, how had Remus managed to survive the past fourteen years? – he quickly explained, “If it was me, I’d have modified that spell so using the normal countercharm only makes the victim turn another obnoxious color.”

Remus scowled, but lowered his wand. “That is something we would have done.” He sighed dejectedly. “I suppose I’ll just have to wait until it wears off. Should only be a couple of hours.” He moved to look at himself in the mirror above the mantle and made a face. “I look like Tonks’s hair.”

“You know, Moony,” Sirius came up behind his friend and pretended to brush at lint on Remus’s shoulder, something that had always annoyed him when they were younger. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but green really isn’t your color.”

Remus swatted at Sirius’s hand. “Stop that.” He moved to lean against the desk, wincing slightly and still looking a bit peaky from the full moon two days prior. “What did you need, Pads?”

“Huh?”

“You obviously came in here looking for me,” Remus elaborated. “I just happened to be asleep when you found me.”

“And green, Remus.” Sirius added innocently. “You were also green when I found you.”

Remus glared at him. “Padfoot….”

“Right.” He held up his folder – better known now as The Grand Works of James Potter and Sirius Black, Volume Five (Second Edition featuring Addendums by R.J. Lupin) – and passed it to Remus. “I’ve gone over your research and compiled the spells we need. Everything’s in there.” With a flourish, he tossed himself into the chair he’d found his friend napping in a few minutes earlier. “This plan may be one of my best.”

“You mean one of Prongs’s best.”

“Same thing.” Sirius waved a hand through the air. “Prongs came up with the original idea, but I helped.” Actually, Prongs came up with the idea and started the necessary research one summer eons ago, Remus had finished the necessary research, and Sirius himself had run several test trials in his mum’s room – determining which charms worked in practice the way they were supposed to work in theory and which did not - while Buckbeak looked on and admired their ingenuity. He’d also determined the countercharms to reverse the damage once the twins were put in their place. In his opinion, his share of the work was just as important as Prongs’s, especially considering half of the spells Prongs selected needed a little tweaking to get right. There was a lot of work involved, but it wasn’t like he was going anywhere. He had nothing but time, and he’d used it well. Kicking his booted feet on the footstool in front of the chair, Sirius suddenly noticed something that did not bode well.

Remus was watching him, obviously amused. He arched an eyebrow, then snickered and flipped open the folder.

Sirius frowned. He knew Remus well enough to recognize that expression. It had been a favorite for when one of his friends had done something horribly idiotic. Normally, it had been projected at James during those times he’d acted like a fool to impress Lily. Now, it was being projected at him and, for the life of him, Sirius couldn’t figure out what he’d done to warrant that reaction. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Remus commented with a smirk, flipping through several pieces of parchment. The haughty look. The one Remus used when he knew something that no one else knew - knowledge that usually gave him the upper hand in something. This could not be good.

“What?” Sirius asked again, indignant.

Remus ignored him as he paused to read something. He was being infuriating on purpose; Sirius just knew he was.

“Remus!” Sirius stood. “What?”

Without looking up from the folder, Remus pointed towards the fireplace. Nonchalant, he flipped a piece of parchment over and began to study the back.

Turning, Sirius caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. “Oh, damn it all! The chair?! They bewitched the damn chair?!”

“It appears so,” Remus remarked with another snicker.

“This isn’t funny, Moony!” Sirius glared at his reflection in the mirror. “I’m green!” He balled his fists. “When I get my hands on those little berks….”

Remus calmly looked up from the folder. “You know, I have an idea.”

Sirius stopped fuming and looked over at him. This could be good. Remus’s ideas were rarely flashy, but they were always devious. If he already had something cooked up for the twins, this could be excellent payback. “What?”

“Well, I was thinking,” Remus set the folder beside him on the desk, “Maybe you could change into Padfoot.”

Sirius frowned. He didn’t see how being a big black dog had anything to do with revenge. Oh! But transfiguring himself into a big black dog and transfiguring back might break the hex currently afflicting him! He chewed at his upper lip thoughtfully. “You really think that would get rid of this?”

“No,” Remus said, still the picture of calm collection, “But I’m rather curious as to whether your fur would be green.”

Sirius glared at him and saw Remus lose his battle and start to laugh. “You think you’re clever, don’t you?”

“No.” Remus replied. “Just easily amused.” He picked up his folder. "Though I'm slightly wounded to learn that our young pranksters weren't specifically targeting me. I liked believing I was important." He flipped the folder open again and began to shuffle through the pages, looking for where he'd left off reading.

“I can only imagine what everyone will think if we show up for the meeting in matching hues of green,” Sirius grumbled, glowering at his reflection in the mirror once again and ignoring Remus. He rubbed at his face. He looked like a cross between a house elf and an ogre. What was worse was that everyone would know he’d been had. Snivellus, he was sure, would be overjoyed. Sirius hated the idea of giving that prat the satisfaction of knowing the tweedles had gotten him. Maybe he’d pretend to be ill and wait with Buckbeak until the color faded.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Sirius,” Remus remarked from behind the folder, “But Molly’s married. You really should give up on trying to impress her.”

Sirius shuddered. “That’s not funny.” Molly Weasley had been the bane of his existence since she’d entered his home. Sometimes, he almost missed the dementors from his last prison. Molly might not be able to actually suck out his soul, but she came pretty damn close with her ability to take the fun out of everything. Plus, she screeched. The dementors, despite all their faults, never screeched….

“So I’ve found the problem.” Remus snapped the folder shut. It took him a moment to realize Remus was talking about the plan and was doing what he’d always done – find the fatal flaw. Remus hopped off the desk and passed him the folder. “What if the twins are light sleepers?”

“Sleeping draught?” Sirius suggested.

“They’re not going to fall for that,” Remus replied. “Slipping something into someone’s drink is the oldest trick in the book.”

“And yet, Nymphadora fell for it,” Sirius shook his head. “So much for constant vigilance.” Remus, he noticed with some satisfaction, began to blush furiously – something that looked twice as ridiculous thanks to his green skin - at the mention of Nymphadora’s potion incident. Sirius cleared his throat, “Moony? Have you spoken with the girl since she tried to take advantage of you?”

“Of course we’ve spoken,” Remus said quickly. Any trace of indignation he attempted to put in his voice faltered and he came across as an insecure fifteen-year-old boy.

Sirius sighed. “Have you said more than ‘hello’ and ‘good-bye’ to her?” Knowing Remus, he doubted it. While people changed over time, Remus’s self confidence had shown no signs of ever climbing out of the sub-basement in which it resided during their school years. By now, he was almost certain it had decided to remain in that location permanently.

“I asked her to pass the potatoes at dinner last night,” Remus replied.

“Now there’s a heartfelt, meaningful conversation.” Sirius muttered. “At the rate you’re going, Moony, I’ll have grandchildren before you get to first base.”

Remus glared at him. “Has it ever occurred to you, Sirius, that I might not think about your cousin that way? That perhaps I’m mortified about what she tried to do to me.”

He contemplated that for a moment, then decided Remus was protesting too much. “Remus, you’re male. Nymphadora’s a young, beautiful, vibrant female. Unless you’ve changed teams since writing poetry about Abigail and snogging Lily, then you’ve at least thought about Nymphadora in a naughty way.”

“When I was taking NEWT courses, she was being potty trained.” Remus continued to protest, as if that explained why he couldn’t possibly be interested in her. He began to pace nervously. “Why are we even talking about this? We’re supposed to be working on a master plan to prank the twins.”

“Which we’re doing so you can defend fair lady’s honor.” Sirius made a grand, sweeping bow.

“Sleeping draughts won’t work,” Remus said, ignoring his last comment as he continued to pace. “Any other suggestions?”

With another sigh, this one portraying annoyance, dejection, and pain and suffering, Sirius started towards the large bookshelves lining the walls. While his father – and his grandfather and his great-grandfather so on – had maintained a vast collection of tomes on the Dark Arts, there were also a fair number of useful and slightly less evil books in the Black family library. The trick would be remembering which ones were which. “Somewhere in this room is a black leather-bound book about this thick,” he held his hands three inches apart, “About charms utilized by assassins. It’s got stuff in it about how to prevent your quarry from seeing or hearing you until its too late. We might find something useful in that.”

Remus glanced around the library. Most of the books fit the description Sirius gave. “You wouldn’t happen to remember the title of that book, would you?”

“Unfortunately, no.” Sirius turned to take in the bookshelves on all four walls. “I tried to block out most of my memories of this place to preserve my sanity. Remembering specific titles of my father’s ‘How to be a Dark Wizard’ literary collection was never high on my list of things to do.”

Remus sighed. “Right then. So I suppose we look at every black book about this thick,” he mimicked the measurement Sirius had given moments earlier, “And hope we see something on the spine about charms and assassins.”

“More or less.” Perhaps it would take ages and he’d have a good reason for missing the Order meeting. If nothing else, it at least gave him something to do other than stare at the wall of his latest cell.

Remus sighed again as he bent over to examine one of the many black, leather-bound books in the room.

As he moved towards the far end of the library to direct his search back towards Remus, Sirius was almost certain he heard his friend mutter, “So much for returning to my nap.” He grinned, knowing the protest was more for show than anything.

Remus was enjoying shedding the curmudgeon nearly as much as Sirius was enjoying having his partner in crime back.



~*~

Need to find/read Part I? Follow the link! - http://hm-yrie.livejournal.com/139052.html